Its Still Good
by FelinesAndPhoenixes
Summary: In which Albus is a cheapskate, Gellert is confused, and the damn pig is STILL GOOD.


**Title: **It's Still Good….

**Summary: **Albus is a cheapskate, Gellert is annoyed, and damn it all the ham is _still good_!

**Author's Notes: **Based on Simpsons episode Lisa The Vegetarian (season 7, episode 5.)

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing that you recognize

Gellert grinned. Their barbeque was a complete success. "Preeeeeeesenting the pig!" he exclaimed in a bright, announcer voice as he reached out and plucked the top off of the serving tray. The suckling pig looked magnificent, he had to admit. Albus had really outdone himself. The guests were silent for a moment before breaking into chatter again. He lay the lid back down and picked up his wine glass and a knife, clinking the knife against the glass. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to propose a toast, if I may. To Albus Dumbledore," he said brightly, raising his class.

"To Albus Dumbledore," the guests chorused back, everyone raising their glasses in sync and drinking.

Gellert turned to Albus, who was blushing furiously at the attention he was receiving. He sipped wine from his own glass, waving absently at the assembled. Gellert had wanted to throw a party for his supporters that summer, and Albus had somehow been coerced into cooking. He had a feeling that it had something to do with copious amounts of being molested by Gellert.

A sudden shout attracted everyone's attention back to a short, dark haired man who had rushed forward and grabbed the handle of the cart that the pig rested on and rushed forward with it. "What the hell?" Gellert asked, turning to look at the man. "Who are you? Where are you going with that?"

The man didn't answer, but instead took off at a run. "Catch him!" Albus shrieked, practically dropping his glass back down on the table. "That was expensive!" He took off in hot pursuit of the man, Gellert following a moment later.

The unknown man turned the corner, tripped and lost his grip on the cart, which continued to plummet down the street towards the drop off at the end. "Nooo!" Albus howled, chasing wildly after the cart, flailing.

"Albus! Have you lost you mind?" Gellert panted, running to keep up with the redhead.

"It's only a little bit mobile, it's still good, it's still good!" Albus shouted over his shoulder at Gellet.

"Let it go, for Merlin's sake!" Gellert said. "This is completely ridiculous. We're going to look like complete fools! And the bloody pig is going to go into the lake!"

Just as Gellert had said, the cart hit the end of the street and the pig fell off. "It's just a little bit dirty, it's still good, it's still good!" Albus shouted, running after it, even as it began to roll down the hill into the river. It hit the water with a splash. "It's only a little slimy, it's still good, it's still good!"

The pair reached the top of the hill, which Albus practically fell down to get to the river bank. Running along the river bank, he shouted, "we're going to catch it, Gellert! Everything is going to be just fine!"

"We can just buy another one!" Gellert shouted back, reaching out to grab Albus's sleeve, but not quite able to reach.

"That's too expensive!" Albus growled. "We're going to catch this one!" Even as he spoke, the pig hit a rock and went flying over the waterfall. "It's only a little airborne, it's still good, it's still good!"

The pig sailed over the water fall and hit the water on the other side, carried out of their sight by the rapids. "It's gone, Albus," Gellert said evenly as the two came to a stop at the top of the roaring water fall. "Give it up, Albus. The pig is gone. We're going to have to get another."

"But that so expensive!" Albus wailed, suddenly turning to bury his face in Gellert's jacket.

As Gellert's hand came up to rub Albus's back comfortingly he had to bite his tongue to keep from bursting into his normal obnoxious laughter. How long had Albus been so….cheap?

**Author's Note: **Well, this is it. It's not that great, but it amused me. I'm only doing this because I can't think of the other one that I was going to write. Fml.


End file.
